Monday, May 25, 2015

whats your favourite color? mine is grey...!!

I’ve been through a lot...
if you know me you would smile while trying to believe me.. I look very stable on the outside.. Very calm and in control .. I always do. But this time hell and heaven were fighting inside of me, ice was thrown at  fire and vise versa, one minute I’m cold and indifferent…. the other I’m outrageous and breaking in tears and everything - including the little ant I accidently stepped on and killed - is making me sob in my tears .

The war was within,, they call It the period of ” transformation” ; in which you either turn black or white, but never grey,, I’ve always hated that color,
since I was very young I never bought or saw myself wearing anything  that’s grey, I had a greyphobia ,, I thought it was a lying color,,  a color of lairs,,,, I still remember that day when I started  my carrier as an art teacher,  how I was telling my students that grey wasn’t even a color, it was the result of mixing the same amounts of black & white equally… and white being the " light "  ( light breaks into all colors aligned: as for a rainbow) and black being the " absence " of color,, only means that  grey is the " zone " between them,,, 
I was dragging my students into my own battles.. I guess.

Last year only.. out of the blues.. my hands started picking grey.. grey became my favorite option .. with anything,  clothes I wear,, cushions' on my couch..  the color I choose to paint the  background of my 4 years pending painting,, which I finally finished.

Grey became my safe zone I think.. in where light and darkness can fight equally.
 Once light overcomes, then its up to me, ( the devil ) or my mean surroundings to add more black, to make sure my life is always grey.. on the center line.. in the middle, one foot in heaven  & the other in hell.
In the Quran ,, Allah {sw} says :
    سوره الشرح (فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا (5) إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا )
Translated to
(So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief., ( 5) Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.)
Yusuf Ali's Interpretation
His almighty did not say 
  ان بعد العسر يسرا,
after every difficulty comes relief…
but he said ( with)  … (مع ) ...
Which only means ….
hidden blessing in each hardship,
good in the bad, bad in the good,
Ying Yang,
grey .!
- Sarah

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